


Run For Your Life (Curses! #4)

by shinysparks



Series: Curses! [4]
Category: Robin Hood (BBC 2006)
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-20
Updated: 2013-09-20
Packaged: 2017-12-27 03:06:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/973570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinysparks/pseuds/shinysparks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm not being funny, but..." Allan whispered, pulling up his brown cloak around his face as two castle guards passed by, "This is a very, very bad idea, Giz. In fact, this is almost as bad as the time you made me dress up as the Nightwatchman to save Marian from execution!"<br/>
"No, it's brilliant!" Guy muttered, slinking his feline self around Allan's ankles. "Genius, even."<br/>
"What about that whole bit where you're supposed to do a good deed and turn back into a man?" Asked Allan, his eyes darting around cautiously.<br/>
"Yeah, yeah... all in good time. I might as well take advantage of this form while I've got it. You must admit that it's perfect for stealth - after all, I'd never be able to get this close to my sister otherwise." Guy said, purring.<br/>
"And what makes you think that she'll take you in, Giz?"</p><p>Guy scoffed.</p><p>"Oh come on, Allan! Look at me!" He said, offering a cute meow. "I'm a handsome creature, after all. And women adore cute, furry things! She'll never be able to resist me! Now, start brushing. I need to look my best."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Run For Your Life (Curses! #4)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the lovely [](http://thymelady.dreamwidth.org/profile)[](http://thymelady.dreamwidth.org/)**thymelady** for helping to inspire this!  <3 There will be more in this series. I'm having far too much fun with it. ;)

"I'm not being funny, but..." Allan whispered, pulling up his brown cloak around his face as two castle guards passed by, "This is a very, very bad idea, Giz. In fact, this is almost as bad as the time you made me dress up as the Nightwatchman to save Marian from execution!"  
"No, it's brilliant!" Guy muttered, slinking his feline self around Allan's ankles. "Genius, even."  
"What about that whole bit where you're supposed to do a good deed and turn back into a man?" Asked Allan, his eyes darting around cautiously.  
"Yeah, yeah... all in good time. I might as well take advantage of this form while I've got it. You must admit that it's perfect for stealth - after all, I'd never be able to get this close to my sister otherwise." Guy said, purring.  
"And what makes you think that she'll take you in, Giz?"

Guy scoffed.

"Oh come on, Allan! Look at me!" He said, offering a cute meow. "I'm a handsome creature, after all. And women adore cute, furry things! She'll never be able to resist me! Now, start brushing. I need to look my best."

Allan groaned before pulling a brush out of his pocket. Kneeling down, he began to gently brush Guy's dark fur. Guy purred all the while, only pausing to let off a rather cranky hiss when the bristles got a bit too close to his manhood. Finished, Allan quickly crammed the brush back into his pocket.

"And the bow?"

Allan groaned again, pulling out a bright, golden yellow bow and carefully tying it around Guy’s furry neck. Guy began to purr as soon as Allan finished.

“How do I look?” Guy asked, prancing around in a circle, as if he were modeling.  
“Irresistibly adorable.” Allan grumbled, almost deadpan.  
“Excellent.” Guy replied, meowing happily.  
"You know, you never told me what you're planning to do _after_ you get inside."

Guy rolled his eyes.

"Sit on her face and suffocate her while she sleeps." He said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "What else?"

Allan sighed, burying his face in his hand.

"Alright, time to get myself adopted!" Guy said, almost giddy as he pranced off into the castle.

Allan shook his head, watching as Guy entered the castle, meowing sweetly. He inched closer to the doorway, peering around to keep an eye on the cat. He kept his hand gripped around the hilt of his sword, and occasionally looked out into the courtyard, trying to plan an escape route. _Giz’s plans almost always backfire,_ he reminded himself.

"Oh, what an adorable little kitty!" Allan heard Isabella say, as Guy meowed sweetly to her. "You are just the cutest thing I've ever seen!”

Allan turned his attention to the new Sheriff, who had picked up the cat and cuddled him up to her. He bit his lip, hoping to stifle his laughter as he watched the look of ultimate disgust in Guy's eyes as Isabella kissed his face over and over. Trying to keep to the plan, Guy managed to give off a weak and very awkward purr to placate her.

“Oh, you're a boy cat, I see.” Isabella then said, holding Guy up and, much to his displeasure, checking out his furry package. She frowned, petting the cat once more. “That won't do, I'm afraid.”

She beckoned to one of the nearby guards, and handed him Guy as soon as he walked over.

"Take him to the physician, and tell him that I wish the cat neutered at once." She then reached down and scratched Guy behind his ears, “We can't have you marking your territory and fathering kittens all over the castle now, can we, Fluffy?”

The guard nodded, gripping Guy behind the neck and crumpling the cat’s bow as he took off walking down the corridor. Allan groaned, ready to pull his sword and come to his former master's defense, when he heard a ear-splitting howl, followed by much screaming and hissing.

"MRRRROW!!!” Growled Guy, hissing and spitting as he wiggled his way inside the man's chainmail shirt, clawing and biting and working his way down to the man's leg.

The guard flailed and screamed his head off, never once pulling his weapon as Guy dug into his leg, shredding everything he touched with his razor-sharp, hind claws. Satisfied with his successful attack, Guy then dropped to the floor and took off in a blur, running though his sister’s legs (and stopping long enough to slap her leg with a claw, of course.)

Allan nearly died laughing at the sight.

"RUN, ALLAN!" Guy screamed, hissing and almost spitting as he flew past Allan, out of the castle and into the courtyard, "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!"


End file.
